Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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