the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
