walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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