worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
