we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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