i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
