I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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