Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
