i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
