i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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