i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
