last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
