I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
