Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
