I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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