Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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