people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
