i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
