So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
