Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
