i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
