There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
