would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
