hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
