I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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