they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
