i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Shame is for Republicans.
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