I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
They have beer where we have blood.
All the doctor said was why
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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