Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
