16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
