the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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