It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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