She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
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