Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Boobs speak an international language.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
