Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
