Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
