And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
