Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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