oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
