Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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