physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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