It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
