you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
