Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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