I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
