Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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