just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
