You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
