bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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