the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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