So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
