I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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