Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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